Rosalie Richards
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New Beginnings Continuing--Considering Diets

12/31/2015

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]New Year’s—Resolutions—Diet and Exercise

Christmas season is on its way to being yesterday.  The Next Big Thing is contemplating our new year.  Even my friends who adamantly don't do new year's resolutions (most of them) think about what the resolutions  would be If considerations were turned into the promises of the next year.  A favorite one, so the internet says, has to do with diet and exercise.  I want to think about diet and MS today.

Are dietary changes helpful or not for symptoms and healing of MS?

My own neurologist encourages healthy diet and exercise for combating the effects of 
MS.  She also cautions that because there are not long-range studies of the effects of 
diet, except for diet with vitamin D, which is now common knowledge, that the findings 
are limited to anecdotal evidence.

The anecdotal evidence is inspiring, and empowering.

I gravitate toward inspiring and empowering  That is what I especially love about this doctor.  Interacting with people like this upbeat, empowering neurologist is like a diet of positive encouragement.

Today I want to think about that kind of diet--instead of food, I want to think about the thoughts we feed ourselves with; the thoughts we surround our lives with.

That's the diet I want for this next year.  What I am looking at today is what I feed myself; my own self-talk--how and why to  be positive with myself.

Here is research on feeding ourselves positive thoughts (http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-steps-to-positive-self-talk/).   This article points out several things that make sense.  For one thing, our actions are inspired by our thoughts.  If we can change the way we think, the article says, we can begin to change the actions we take.  It goes on to say that it is human nature to seek personal growth, whether financial, emotional, physical or spiritual.  What is maybe not so obvious to us is that practicing positive self-talk helps us set on motion the actions that will bring us greater rewards.  

Another article tells us how positive self-talk reduces stress (http://examinedexistence.com/the-importance-of-positive-self-talk/).  According to the American Heart Association, positive self-talk c an help control stress.  As a result, it makes us feel calmer and less anxious.

Buddha once said:  "We are what we think."  This suggests why it matters that we constantly choose positive ways of thinking and why it helps to have an optimistic attitude. 

Here are two studies that offer proof of this idea, that show how our thoughts influence the outcomes in our lives.

One study says that we live longer when we are positive thinkers (https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=4511).  This study finds that regardless of income level or health status, that optimism is associated with a longer life and with better mental and physical health outcomes.  

Another study (http://circoutcomes.ahajournals.org/content/early/2013/09/10/CIRCOUTCOMES.113.000158.full.pdf+html), which looked at 607 patients in a hospital in Denmark, found that patients whose moods were overall more positive were 58% more likely to live at least another five years.  [Note:  These people also exercised more, and the scientists can't say if the longevity is due to one or the other.  The important message is the same either way:  positive thinking and regular physical activity are important for life.]

Here is another study that provides a reason for us to feed ourselves diets of positive self-talk (amesclear.com/positive-thinking).  A psychologist from the University of North Carolina divided people into five groups.  Two saw images of positive events, one saw photos of neutral events, and two other groups saw negative events

After the subjects s the images they were asked to give ideas of what they would do if presented with a similar situation.  People who had seen positive events were able to come up with more ideas, which suggests that positive thinking broadens our view of possibilities in life.  The researcher refers to this as the "broaden and build" theory, because it suggests that positive emotions both broadens our sense of possibilities and opens our minds.  This in turn allows us to build new life skills and resources that can provide value in other areas of our lives (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1693418/).

What can we do to bring these positive results into our lives?  

Another study by the University of North Carolina psyhologisgt (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3156028/) suggests that three things help.  People who meditate, she found, have more resiliency in life.  Writing helps--she had a group of students write positive things for three days, and compared them to a control group.  After only three days the writers of positive things had fewer visits to the health center.  Third:  play.  She found that it helps to actually write fun activities into our schedules.

This psychologist suggests that positive emotions b oth  broaden our view of the possible in our lies and they set us on trajectories of growths which foster success in our lives.

A diet of positivity does that!

In my new year's resolutions I would say that I agree with both sorts of studies.  I  agree with anecdotal evidence of our our bodies can use food either as good or bad input, that food can be used to increase resiliency and strength....
AND I believe the studies that give supporting evidence that what sorts of thoughts we feed ourselves can serve to give us resiliency and strength.  
I read this:  'he couldn't see what was before his eyes because he was limited by the merely possible."

Positivity, the possible we Can see, why not?
​
New Year's Resolution--a steady diet of positivity.
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Forget Hallmark, or, The Way Down is The Way Up

12/24/2015

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Something shimmers this season.  It is not the star shining in the Christmas cards, either.

In some ways this season is irritating, because of Hallmark, because it insists on traditions and scripts.
Some of us don’t think in terms of these scripts.

Today I want to talk about Not finding our lives in sync with expected scripts.  

That’s what MS is--it is living in a world living by one script of physical possibilities, but not sharing that personal reality.  

I have begun to step back from the noise of old scripts in order to let the mystery of life do its work--Not because I asked for it:  the mystery of my destiny handed me MS.

MS is the huge slice of life that destiny gave me, and in order to put it in my life I had to search for ways to both continue being me and to carry this new reality around with me.  What I am finding is what Richard Rohr describes in his spirituality for the second half of life, Falling Upward.  Failures are gifts, MS is a present, the way down is the way up.

Here is what--even though I didn’t ask for it--MS gives me.
  • MS provides me with the  connection I feel with every other person whose destiny requires that they meet a challenge.
  • It is the realization that because MS yanked me from another path, there is a quiet part of me who had gotten buried and is grateful for this time, for reflection, for the attention I allow her these days.
  • It is the gift of new vocational passions that I found in writing and prison work.  
  • It teaches me how to value fits that rub:  including relationships that are forever but are not always easy; it teaches me that life unfolds in spite of my limited expectations, what I call my Hallmark scripts.
  • MS is a story that is happening, that calls me to find out new things, to connect with people I love in new ways.  The most amazing gift of my new life is the deep friendship with my daughter and discovering her amazing earth-mother wisdom.
  • MS is like a road that I didn’t see coming, but now that I walk on it, it continues to provide me with grounding.  
In my own way I know what it is like for people for whom this season is a disconnect, who have stories told in different ways from the script of Christmas cards.  MS is not found in Christmas cards either, but it gives my life a unique story that unfolds in gifts I never expected to deserve or receive.

This unexpected destiny shimmers, it even fills me with wonder.
​

Take that, Hallmark!

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HEROES

12/17/2015

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I keep learning things from MS.  My friends tell me they learn too, just in other ways. 
​
That’s one thing I am learning.  MS is has been like a graduate course in how to learn from my friends. 
Two people, in particular, show me how to create the MS narrative in my life. 

One is a toddler who is learning how to 'read' even though she doesn't know her letters.  
To me, having MS is like having a life story but not knowing where the words are pointing—it is too unpredictable and too unique to ‘read’ to the end.  It is like reading my life story without the words to point the way. 
This reminds me of Hero Number One.  She is the star in one of my favorite family videos. 

In this 15-second film, she reads out loud to her mother.  As she tells the story she flips through the book.  She turns the pages forward, then goes backwards, then stops, closes the book, opens it again—and not once does she stop the narrative of her story.  “She Can Read Without Looking At the Words,” we declared to each other!  We all chuckle and delight in this. 

She accomplishes the miracle of ‘reading’ easily.  She grins and tells her story till she is through and then she puts the book down. 

I think about life as our stories.  We have heard the term script used to refer to expectations of our lives.

My script did not include MS.  Does anybody imagine all of the important things in their lives that came to them?  I did not imagine MS.  I don’t know how that story goes, either.

I don’t know where MS till take me physically.   None of us knows where MS will lead our bodies. 

This brings me to Hero Number Two.

He is one of my best friends, a brilliant man, and he died this past summer of early onset alzheimer’s.  Brilliance opened many doors in his life, and he left through that same doorway, even with alzheimer’s.

Though he knew alzheimer’s was going to take control of his body, he took control of his story line.

This is what he did.  When he got the diagnosis, after he took time to adjust to internally, he took practical steps.  He shared the story with people who needed to know.  He prepared the steps leading to the end—he asked significant people to be in charge of overseeing his caretaking and he planned the finances involved.  

He did all of that practical work because, even as one part of his life was exiting, he chose to have his own way of telling his story.

These two friends teach me how to ‘do’ my story with MS. 
From the toddler I learn to grin and wing it when I don’t know the next part of the story.  I figure that’s what we all end up doing.  We tell our stories, we live our life, without looking at the words, we improvise!

From my brilliant friend I learn that we don’t need to have control of the end of the story to choose the way we live now.  How my friend planned the last part of his story inspires me.

Everyone I know, each of my friends, ‘does’ your own version of your life.  The way you tell your story, the choices you make, these things open me to possibilities that I can’t know on my own.

Your life shows me how to live the new pages that come in my story.  You do that for everyone who knows you.

That’s what heroes do.  



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WHAT ABOUT HEALING BY COMPASSION

12/10/2015

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My daughter told the family about a little 7 year old girl whose family was killed in a fire—she survived because her dad cradled her in his arms so that she would not breathe the fumes that killed him. 
The fire was two years ago.  Fifty surgeries later she shows pluck and a love of life—this year for Christmas she hopes for Christmas cards.  100 of them.  Christmas cards from around the world. 
Want to be a part of her Christmas?  Here is her address, you can send a card!  
                  Safyre
                  P.O. Box 6126
                  Schenectady, NY 12306
 
Because this blog is about healing through MS, I wondered:  what is the healing power of compassion? 
 
Here is what I found out (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/project-compassion-stanford/the-healing-power-of-kindness_b_6136272.html):
 
A large scientific literature review conducted at Stamford University shows that there is growing evidence to show that kindness has the power to heal.  It has a statistically significant impact on Physical Health!
 
For example, we know that taking an aspirin lowers the risk of a heart attack.  Did you know that an act of kindness lowers the risk of a heart attack More than taking an aspirin? 
 
I don’t imagine that any person who reads my blog needs an excuse to send Safyre a Christmas card, but I think we can all enjoy this fact—daily acts of kindness can be on our list of healthy activities, like rowing, walking, eating green vegetables!
 
This review only looked at the recipients of kindness.  We are givers of kindness.  What is the result in our own lives? 
 
An article by Cigna Health Insurance says the results of kindness—on the doer—include improved physical as well as psychological health (http://apps.cignabehavioral.com/web/basicsite/bulletinBoard/effectsOfHumanKindness.jsp). 
 
I think of it as creating a healing place in ourselves.  Carolyn Myss, the medical intuitive, wrote a book about this: 
The Creation of health : the emotional, psychological, and spiritual responses that promote health and healing (Caroline Myss and C. Norman Shealy).
 
There is extensive literature on the healing power of de-stressing, of the disease provoking power of stressing.  Yoga is one physical method of letting stress go, breathing—deeply—is one, changing our lifestyle so that we aren’t in situations that awaken the fight or flight response is another. 
 
The book by Myss explores another way that we experience healing power, that we create the space in our lives that is less stressed—the book says that living from a kindness space in ourselves is associated with healing. 
 
Has anyone had experience with this?  I would love to hear about it.   I hope you will write, a sentence, a page, anything.  
 
Meanwhile, I am going to shop for a Christmas card for that little girl who inspires so much love around the world, Safre.  I hope you get a card too.
 
Sending you love this season---
Rosalie
--------------------------------------------------------------
(below is a piece about Safre)
Two years ago, Safyre survived a horrific house fire that killed her entire family including her dad and her three siblings. Safyre managed to survive only because her father cradled her in his arms, shielding her from breathing in hot air. Safyre suffered from burns on 75% percent of her body and has had to undergo over 50 surgeries.
 
Today, Safyre resides with her aunt Liz and her family. When Liz recently brought home a metal Christmas card holder from a thrift store, Safyre told her that she couldn’t wait to fill it up with cards. According to Buzzfeed, Liz had to tell Safyre, “Honey, that’s probably not gonna happen. We maybe get 10 cards a year, and the card tree holds 100.” But feeling hopeful, Liz decided to post a photo of Safyre next to the tree asking her community to help make Safyre’s wish come true. When their family friend Kevin Clark saw it he asked if he could share it on his Facebook.  Clark’s post now has over 33K shares and 44K comments.
 
Yesterday Liz posted another photo of Safyre on a Facebook account she runs for her alongside the caption, “I really think I am dehydrated from crying so much… This is absolutely amazing, it takes my breath away. We, my family and I have been through so much darkness of this world. Then to see the most powerful BEAUTY of the world. The world coming together to make Safyre’s wish come true is unfathomable.”
---------------------------------------------------------------
If you want to be a part of Safyre's Christmas, here is her address again---
 Safyre, P.O. Box 6126  Schenectady, NY 12306.

 

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DEDICATED TO FRIENDS WHO LIVE POWER MS

12/3/2015

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            Today’s blog is dedicated to people who gave me exactly what I needed to keep going, when MS had me beaten.  I met and became friends with people with MS who live amazing lives, I definitely did not know that was an option.  Thanks to them, I say the following:  though MS can leave us emotionally bereft, it can also  catapult us to a more powerful life.   

           Today’s blog is about choosing Power MS. 

           My premise is based on a physical reality that we all know:  there is not one bit of muscle growth that happens without working against a force that insists that we either push back or else lay back and give up.
For example, when weights are placed in our hands we can use them to become stronger or we can lie back and do nothing.  A weight placed on us can help us become stronger but it doesn’t have to.  We can avoid pushing against it if we wish.  We have those two choices when we lay back and a bar weight is placed in our hands:
  • Let the weight force us to the ground OR
  • Do our best to push the weight up.  If we do this enough times, what results is noticeable muscle strength and toned muscles.)
          This is not only a physical truth.  Most important, this is true for our spirit—and when dealing with MS our spirit is more important, in my experience, than our physical strength. 

           I have grown to think about MS as that weight that got shoved into our lives.  We have two choices, to lay back and give up, or choose to oppose the weight, let strength emerge.

            We ultimately have a choice when we get dealt a diagnosis—lie back submissively or develop power.  We CAN develop inner power.  Here are possible spirit response to MS.

           We can push back, and we may discover developed ‘muscle’—emotional strengths—that never had been developed before. 

           We may not find that strength.  We may back and get overwhelmed by what comes at us.
We don’t always have it in us to push back.  At times laying back is the wise thing…not so that we can stay down, but so that we can rest, recuperate, stand up another day.

           Life always presents us with the opportunity to develop muscle.  Our spirit muscles get flaccid at times, but at other times we may discover muscles that we never had developed before. 

           In those weakened times, it helps to know that there are other options.

           We can learn new techniques to meeting obstacles in our lives, to meeting our MS.  I call this Power MS, and I learned it from someone who told me about Jimmy Huega’s seminars. 

           For me Jimmy Huega set the standard for Power MS. 

           When he was diagnosed with MS he transferred the inner strength he had developed that got him on the US Men’s Skiing Olympic Team.  He used that inner strength to meet his MS head on. 

           He taught two things.  He had two messages.  They are simple and powerful—follow your passion and push to the limit.

           Follow your passion.  If you don’t know what your passion is, follow streams of inspiration, and give these ideas all you have.  It is a two step process:  follow your inspiration and then give it all you have.

           Here is how Huega taught it:  give Everything your best effort, always include needed breaks, then keep going till you reach beyond your goal.  Reach beyond your best hopes.

           My friends show me this is true.  We can choose our MS.  We can choose to live with muscle, with Spirit strength. 

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    Author--
    ​Rosalie Richards

    MS keeps coming in stages.  The first 'maybe' diagnosis was in 2004, the next 'for sure' one came in 2011.

    I thought that was the end of the story, but life with MS keeps unfolding.  

    I'd enjoy reading your posts.

    If you like this blog, check out my books--
    Beyond MS  Your Best Life and 
    Beyond MS--Get Moving!

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