In some ways this season is irritating, because of Hallmark, because it insists on traditions and scripts.
Some of us don’t think in terms of these scripts.
Today I want to talk about Not finding our lives in sync with expected scripts.
That’s what MS is--it is living in a world living by one script of physical possibilities, but not sharing that personal reality.
I have begun to step back from the noise of old scripts in order to let the mystery of life do its work--Not because I asked for it: the mystery of my destiny handed me MS.
MS is the huge slice of life that destiny gave me, and in order to put it in my life I had to search for ways to both continue being me and to carry this new reality around with me. What I am finding is what Richard Rohr describes in his spirituality for the second half of life, Falling Upward. Failures are gifts, MS is a present, the way down is the way up.
Here is what--even though I didn’t ask for it--MS gives me.
- MS provides me with the connection I feel with every other person whose destiny requires that they meet a challenge.
- It is the realization that because MS yanked me from another path, there is a quiet part of me who had gotten buried and is grateful for this time, for reflection, for the attention I allow her these days.
- It is the gift of new vocational passions that I found in writing and prison work.
- It teaches me how to value fits that rub: including relationships that are forever but are not always easy; it teaches me that life unfolds in spite of my limited expectations, what I call my Hallmark scripts.
- MS is a story that is happening, that calls me to find out new things, to connect with people I love in new ways. The most amazing gift of my new life is the deep friendship with my daughter and discovering her amazing earth-mother wisdom.
- MS is like a road that I didn’t see coming, but now that I walk on it, it continues to provide me with grounding.
This unexpected destiny shimmers, it even fills me with wonder.
Take that, Hallmark!