Last week I visited with my new cat caregivers—they will board my cats while I’m gone for a few weeks, and I realized something about MS support groups.
We talked about something that happened to their daughter years ago—a senseless murder.
I had known a couple who went through that, around the same time, in the same city, New York, and I remembered how the couple had joined a support group for parents of children who have been killed—murdered. I hadn’t imagined that there were enough people in this world, in that community, for a support group specifically for parents whose children had gone to the group for a while, but the subject never moved on. ‘Maybe it is therapeutic for some people to keep talking about the shock and pain of losing a child in such a violent way,’ he said, ‘but after sharing the pain and bitterness and tears the first time, and the second and third meetings, I eventually wanted to move on with my life, and I never went back.’
His wife, who has an amazing active life, with theater, prison volunteering, friends, is the opposite. She needs to work through the event in the company of fellow souls who walk that path.
I am like that husband, only my experience is about MS support groups, and I know I don’t speak for everybody. I went to one for a year, helped co-host one for another year, but not just me, the majority of us wanted to live life outside of MS. It is invaluable to know fellow journeyers, but the journey is more than that.
That’s my take on it.
Like my friend, who said the death of his daughter will always be a huge part of his heart and his story, MS is huge in my life—I plan around my ability to keep up the pace of traveling, I focus on walking with a week ankle and foot lift, but that can’t be the end of the story. Where I am going, the people I share my walk with—this is the point of the story.
This morning I got up and thought about the blog, and I realize that for me the missing piece is this—there is More to the life story of each of us, and to not bring that up is to forget the point of our journeys.
Next week, back to MS focused information, but this week is a celebration of More.
We talked about something that happened to their daughter years ago—a senseless murder.
I had known a couple who went through that, around the same time, in the same city, New York, and I remembered how the couple had joined a support group for parents of children who have been killed—murdered. I hadn’t imagined that there were enough people in this world, in that community, for a support group specifically for parents whose children had gone to the group for a while, but the subject never moved on. ‘Maybe it is therapeutic for some people to keep talking about the shock and pain of losing a child in such a violent way,’ he said, ‘but after sharing the pain and bitterness and tears the first time, and the second and third meetings, I eventually wanted to move on with my life, and I never went back.’
His wife, who has an amazing active life, with theater, prison volunteering, friends, is the opposite. She needs to work through the event in the company of fellow souls who walk that path.
I am like that husband, only my experience is about MS support groups, and I know I don’t speak for everybody. I went to one for a year, helped co-host one for another year, but not just me, the majority of us wanted to live life outside of MS. It is invaluable to know fellow journeyers, but the journey is more than that.
That’s my take on it.
Like my friend, who said the death of his daughter will always be a huge part of his heart and his story, MS is huge in my life—I plan around my ability to keep up the pace of traveling, I focus on walking with a week ankle and foot lift, but that can’t be the end of the story. Where I am going, the people I share my walk with—this is the point of the story.
This morning I got up and thought about the blog, and I realize that for me the missing piece is this—there is More to the life story of each of us, and to not bring that up is to forget the point of our journeys.
Next week, back to MS focused information, but this week is a celebration of More.
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