​It seems intuitive that healing and de-stressing are related.  If we need more convincing, though, we can find studies that talk about it. 

One study looked at rates of wound healing and stress.  They measured wound healing for people caring at home for someone with Alzheimer’s. 
This study was not measuring an MS-related autoimmune illness.  Instead the question was:  are people under significant stress less likely to recover quickly from surgery than others.  The result indicated that yes, continued (chronic) stress slows the healing of wounds (https://interferon.osumc.edu/ KG%20Publications%20(pdf)/102.pdf). 

What can we say specifically about MS and stress, though? 

Another study shows that chronic stress negatively impacts various diseases, including those involving immune function (https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Theadore Vanitallie/publication
11331672 Stress A risk factor for serious illness/links/
55368dcbocf218056e952c85.pdf)/).

There is a reason why we don't yet have more proof of the effects of stress on diseases such as Multiple Sclerosis.  Because, unlike a bacteria-caused illness, there is not a measurable and identifiable agent, or cause, and the exact sorts of stressors that cause or exacerbate a disease are not easy to define or measure.  Nonetheless, evidence that chronic stress causes or worsens disease is growing (https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Theadore Vanitallie/publication 11331672 Stress A risk factor for serious illness/links/55368dcbocf218056e952c85.pdf)/).

Though neurologists are not prescribing de-stressing as a therapy, some offices include psychologists and physical therapists in their centers, because of the interaction of these things on symptom control. 

When I was first diagnosed no mention was made of stress and the impact of stress on the onset or progression of the disease.  I met more people with MS.  I got accustomed to the association of high stress with the onset of the disease.  It wasn’t a 100% correlation, but it happened often enough to suggest to me that there is a strong association between high stress and the disease onset. 
 
So…let’s all de-stress.  It sounds reasonable.
 
But how do we find the ways to de-stress when our life challenges are constant?

This is what I mean. 

I have a great friend is a fellow MS-er.  She is someone I admire—she is creative, she is a writer, she is well-versed in studies on MS.  She a person I turn to when I want to know more about MS therapies.

My friend’s life doesn’t center around MS.  Instead it centers around another challenge—her son, who she cherishes, for whom she is the strongest cheerleader possible, and who has a chronic health condition. 

Her life stressors don’t slow down.  To de-stress her life, to really de-stress it, she would have to opt out of her family. 

“Creating a healing environment sounds wonderful—and out of range.  De-stressing sounds good,” she said to me, “but --can you think of ways to de-stress in the middle of the sort of day which is my day?  If you do, will you send them to me?”

I drew a blank.  Short of leaving her wonderful family, she isn’t going to slow her life stressors down.  I wished I could say something, but I knew there wasn’t an answer.

That is when I learned something so simple—so obvious—but it took another friend to show it to me.
I’m going to explore it myself, so that next week I can write more about it—how to find the moments in the day that bring the healing environment.  You will read it and say, “Of course, I do that, I have done that, this is simple.”  It will not be new, but I hope it delights you like it does me.
​
Till then, sending you love on your path--Rosalie

It is amazing to me that we can do something to control the frequency and the severity of relapses –with our own minds.  That is what studies say: (http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/news/20030918/stress-makes-ms-symptoms-worse).   (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120402162546.htm).

This is what I heard from a friend of mine who owns a store that sells herbs and other healing products.  She has had MS for decades, swims regularly, takes her grandchildren out to sled in the snow.  She has studied the results of herbs, of exercise, of diet, on MS for her own knowledge, and she is the person I turn to when I want to know about a therapy for MS.   I asked her what was the most important thing she does to keep her symptoms in line. She listed several things, but said the most important thing for her is to keep stress out of her life.  Here is what she said about stress.
 
Regarding stress, it is helpful for me to understand what is happening when we are stressed.  It is my understanding that stress triggers the adrenal hormones adrenalin and cortisol.  Adrenaline is released quickly and speeds up the heart rate, constricts blood vessels (raising blood pressure), raises blood blood sugar by converting liver glycogen to glucose, increases muscle uptake of that glucose and shuts down the digestive processes.  This is all in anticipation of the fight or flight response to danger or emergencies.
 
Cortisol follows shortly after adrenaline. Cortisol's role is theorized to reestablish homeostasis by normalizing blood pressure and suppressing inflammation. Cortisol inhibits the absorption of glucose, promotes the synthesis of fat and fat storage.  Along with suppressing inflammation, Cortisol also suppresses the immune system.  On the surface this would appear to be beneficial to an inflammatory, autoimmune disease. The problem is that when cortisol levels decline, inflammation and the immune system come back with a vengeance and sometimes in a dysfunctional way.  Sometimes turning the immune system against it's own tissue. Dr. Gabor Mate explains this well in his book "When the Body Says No". 
 
Stress can be insidious.  We sometimes normalize to harmful levels of stress.  My approach to managing stress is to try to maintain a healthy routine of eating and sleeping, not trying to be heroic, exercising.  I also practice the 12 steps of Alanon which helps me with relationships. 
 
Last week I explored how we can use self-talk and plan “play times” as ways to de-stress.  There are other ways that people use as well.  More and more approaches to therapy with MS include ways to de-stress.  A friend in CT is taking me to her meditation class which the local sports clinic runs. 
 
Another friend with MS finds ways to get outside in the winter snow with cross-country skiing and in the summer with river kayaking.  Her fall-back way of de-stressing is getting outside to walk.
 
One thing that I just began practicing is to look up from my computer screen and outside my window.  I live in Northern New Hampshire, and the snow is beautiful these days.  It takes me out of my rush to get things done.  Another practice that I learned is to get up every half hour or so and walk around the house.  I go to my porch and get a quick “shot” of cold air.  Surprisingly it works!
 
Recently I have started quizzing my friends—with and without MS—to learn how they de-stress.  I’m making a go-to list for stressful times.  If you have more ideas, I would love to share them.
 
 
 

We are seeing huge strides in dealing with MS symptoms.  A friend sent me an article about another positive study regarding stem cell therapy.  The article suggests that in the next few years this may be a standard therapy for reversing symptoms!   

Until then, we owe it to ourselves to keep our bodies in the best shape possible.  Surprisingly, de-stressing is a huge part of this goal.
One study showed that stress doubles the risk of worsening MS symptoms (http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclerosis/news/20030918/stress-makes-ms-symptoms-worse).   Research reports that psychological stress on the body's ability to regulate inflammation can promote the development and progression of disease (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120402162546.htm).
“You are not a weak person because you react negatively to stress," explains one psychologist (http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/stress-management/taming-stress.htm). 
 
Here are some suggestions that I like.  (http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/StressManagement/FourWaystoDealWithStress/Four-Ways-to-Deal-with-Stress_UCM_307996_Article.jsp#.VpafHRUrLfA).

1. Positive Self-Talk
   Self-talk is one way to deal with stress. We all talk to ourselves.  Self-talk is what we think to ourselves, not always consciously. 

Negative self-talk increases stress. Positive self-talk helps us calm down and control stress. With practice, we can learn to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

For example:

Negative
Positive
"I can't do this."
"I'll do the best I can."

"Everything is going wrong."
"I can handle things if I take one step at a time."

"I hate it when this happens."
"I know how to deal with this; I've done it before."

To help us feel better, we can practice positive self-talk every day — in the car, at our desk, before we go to bed or whenever we notice negative thoughts.
Here are positive statements some people use:

• "I've got this.  I can deal with this."
• "I can get help if I need it."
• "We can work it out."
• "I won't let this problem get me down."
• "Things could be worse."
• "I'm human.  We all make mistakes."
• "Someday I'll laugh about this."

Positive self-talk helps us relieve stress and deal with the situations that cause stress.
 

1. Emergency Stress Stoppers
   There are many stressful situations — even everyday hassles like standing in line. Emergency stress stoppers help us deal with stress on the spot.
   
   Here are emergency stress stoppers. There are different stress stoppers for different situations and sometimes it helps to combine them.
   • Count to 10 before you speak.
   • Take three to five deep breaths.
   • Walk away from the stressful situation, and say you'll handle it later.
   • Go for a walk.
   • Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" if you make a mistake.
   • Set your watch five to 10 minutes ahead to avoid the stress of being late.
   • Break down big problems into smaller parts. For example, answer one letter or phone call per day, instead of dealing with everything at once.
   • Drive in the slow lane or avoid busy roads to help you stay calm while driving.
   • Smell a rose, hug a loved one or smile at somebody.
   • Meditation.
     
     

1.  Find Pleasure
   When stress makes us feel bad, we can do something that makes us feel good. Doing things we enjoy is a natural way to fight off stress.
   
   We can try to do at least one thing every day that we enjoy, even if we only do it for 15 minutes.
   
   …such as:
   1. Start an art project.
   2. Take up a hobby, new or old.
   3. Read a favorite book, short story, magazine or newspaper.
   4. Have coffee or a meal with friends.
   5. Listen to music during or after practicing relaxation.
   6. Take a nature walk.
   7. Watch an old movie on TV. 

Plan fun. Plan relaxation.  It’s easy to write a work related appointment in our calendar.  We can consider this our new work!  
 

One thing I have learned from MS is that people who share positive energy are more important to me than ever. 
 
I figured that was just me, but there is an scientific explanation for this, which I found last week.  A study found that being positive, having positive emotions and thoughts, develops our brains, in that we increase our ability to generate ideas to make good things happen (amesclear.com/positive-thinking).  
 
It is simple to get these good results by practicing mindfulness and loving kindness meditation (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735810000425, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3156028/).
 
The problem is that meditation sounds hard to a lot of people.  The practice of mindfulness sounds equally demanding.  They are actually enjoyable and easy (http://www.lifehack.org/305575/20-simple-things-you-can-daily-become-mindful-person).  
 
Simple ways to practice mindfulness
 
Here is a list of mindfulness ideas.
 
1. Look at yourself in the mirror.
See how you look when you smile or when you frown, even when you are feeling angry. Actors do this.  This is mindfulness about our response to and expression of feelings.
​
2. Eat differently.  Put your devices aside and enjoy every bite.

3. Listen to soothing music.
Lay down or sit in the most comfortable position, close your eyes and feel the music in your soul.  

4. Go for a walk.

5.  Cook.  This provides aroma-therapy and a calmness created by repetitive actions (chopping, stirring).  

6. Observe the people around you.  You get an idea of the wide variety of perspectives, and you can raise your awareness .

7. Let loose and laugh.

8. Turn off your devices.

9. Exercise.

10. Give a genuine compliment to someone at least once a day, and be specific.

11.  Create art.

12.  Help someone.

13.  Take a long bath.

14.  Write a journal.  You clarify issues, discover ideas that come to you, and some research says this raises our potential to live longer lives.

15.  Read a book.
 
How to do Loving Kindness Meditation
 
This kind of meditation is easy and you have done it before.  Just begin to do it regularly.
 
1.  Think of someone and then direct loving kindness to them.  You do this sometimes when you think of family members and good friends.  That is a perfect place to start.  Think about one person.  In your mind make a list of things you appreciate about them.  Wish them good things.  
 
2.  Think about another person, and ditto.  
 
3.  PRACTICE THIS ON YOURSELF.  Get up each morning and do Loving Kindness Meditation to yourself before you begin the day.
 
Mindfulness and loving kindness meditation have been found to help people with huge emotional illnesses.  We may not have those issues, perhaps we have something else, like MS.  We can also use these simple techniques to grow the ability to find more and better options.  Life will present us with same challenges that we faced before, only we find we don’t get stuck as often.  We see options. 
 
We are growing our ability to make good things happen.
 

I keep learning things from MS.  My friends tell me they learn too, just in other ways. 
​
That’s one thing I am learning.  MS is has been like a graduate course in how to learn from my friends. 
Two people, in particular, show me how to create the MS narrative in my life. 

One is a toddler who is learning how to 'read' even though she doesn't know her letters.  
To me, having MS is like having a life story but not knowing where the words are pointing—it is too unpredictable and too unique to ‘read’ to the end.  It is like reading my life story without the words to point the way. 
This reminds me of Hero Number One.  She is the star in one of my favorite family videos. 

In this 15-second film, she reads out loud to her mother.  As she tells the story she flips through the book.  She turns the pages forward, then goes backwards, then stops, closes the book, opens it again—and not once does she stop the narrative of her story.  “She Can Read Without Looking At the Words,” we declared to each other!  We all chuckle and delight in this. 

She accomplishes the miracle of ‘reading’ easily.  She grins and tells her story till she is through and then she puts the book down. 

I think about life as our stories.  We have heard the term script used to refer to expectations of our lives.

My script did not include MS.  Does anybody imagine all of the important things in their lives that came to them?  I did not imagine MS.  I don’t know how that story goes, either.

I don’t know where MS till take me physically.   None of us knows where MS will lead our bodies. 

This brings me to Hero Number Two.

He is one of my best friends, a brilliant man, and he died this past summer of early onset alzheimer’s.  Brilliance opened many doors in his life, and he left through that same doorway, even with alzheimer’s.

Though he knew alzheimer’s was going to take control of his body, he took control of his story line.

This is what he did.  When he got the diagnosis, after he took time to adjust to internally, he took practical steps.  He shared the story with people who needed to know.  He prepared the steps leading to the end—he asked significant people to be in charge of overseeing his caretaking and he planned the finances involved.  

He did all of that practical work because, even as one part of his life was exiting, he chose to have his own way of telling his story.

These two friends teach me how to ‘do’ my story with MS. 
From the toddler I learn to grin and wing it when I don’t know the next part of the story.  I figure that’s what we all end up doing.  We tell our stories, we live our life, without looking at the words, we improvise!

From my brilliant friend I learn that we don’t need to have control of the end of the story to choose the way we live now.  How my friend planned the last part of his story inspires me.

Everyone I know, each of my friends, ‘does’ your own version of your life.  The way you tell your story, the choices you make, these things open me to possibilities that I can’t know on my own.

Your life shows me how to live the new pages that come in my story.  You do that for everyone who knows you.

That’s what heroes do.